Part III

Hazrat goes wild

Oblivious of being indigenous in Honduras; the ravenous, edacious, rapacious and voracious; Bondrous too conspicuous of a vicious and veracious sorceress refused to be courteous and filed a non-malicious complaint in the courts of Fictitious and Factitious for a verdict masterly Fastidious.
The great Sheikh of the desert, Sheikh Ahmed Al-Fahad Al-Ahmed Al-Sabah, took a suo-motto notice of the incident and released an official statement to circulate only within the Holy Kingdom.
The statement read as follows:
My poor countrymen, "SHIT HAPPENS"_with these words Sheikh became the founder of the slang which got famous in the west afterwards_it is to inform you that Bondrous is in deep shit, he has drowned himself in great Witch's spell. He needs help and I have called his great uncle Bond, Hazrat Bond. The Hazrat will set his course towards Gobi desert where he will find the great African black Penguin and will then travel to the Republic of Abkhazia to find the genuine beard of a rare Billy Goat. I have given instructions to the Hazrat for the remedy of his nephew's problem. My People! I will reward 0.00000000003% of my wealth after deducting 50% state tax if the Hazrat comes successful.
Note: This notice is only to be circulated in the Holy Kingdom in order to refrain Bondrous from collecting the reward after doing his remedy himself.
Suffering form constipation, dehydration and frustration of foreseeing desert' starvations, The Hazrat without any companion set out early morning on his mission. For three days and seven nights the Hazrat travelled in every possible direction and on the fourth day stopped at the sight of another Hazrat and asked for a path going back to the Holy Kingdom. The Hazrat instead, pointed towards a mountain and told the Hazrat to keep his eyes open and look for a black and silver bird which comes and sits on the top of the mountain. The bird has an eye on its belly and on following it will guide the way to the Desert. Hazrat quickly lied on the ground and affixed his eyes on the sky, after two days and three nights he woke up and saw a big black eye circling on his head. It was indeed the bird he was told about, he stood up and starting running after the bird which went up and down the mountain three times. Exhausted by this excursion, Hazrat screamed and called the other Hazrat a liar. At this moment the bird flew towards the right of the mountain and Hazrat following it came at the back of the mountain to see the most amazing spectacle of his life, the great Gobi Desert.
Hazrat fell on his knees and cried and then started his journey again in the scorching heat. After a few miles he saw the great African black Penguin dancing near a date tree. Hazrat said his salams to the penguin and told him to close his eyes and dance. The penguin obeyed Hazrat's order and while he was dancing, he took out his sword and struck his one foot off with a single blow.
The next day Hazrat set off for Abkhazia – bordered by Russia to the north, and Georgia to the east. Hazrat travelled towards the South for four days and after crossing South Ossetia and Transnistria reached Capital Sukhumi. Hazrat learned that the population (including all ethnic groups) of Abkhazia are majority Orthodox Christians and Sunni Muslims. Most of the ethnic Armenians living in Abkhazia belong to the Armenian Apostolic Church. However, most of the people who declare themselves Christian or Muslim do not attend religious services. There is also a very small number of Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses and the followers of new religions. The Jehovah's Witnesses organization has officially been banned since 1995, though the decree is not currently enforced, therefore Hazrat stood on the nearest pedestrian camel and said aloud, "I have come here not to spread religion and I will be in peace and no breach if I can only be directed where to find the "Genuine Rare Billy Goat."'
At this moment, all and sundry looked and behold, and then gave way to what came out to be the "Genuine Rare Billy Goat." Hazrat asked the goat for a written apology for taking too long to reveal its identity and adding more worries to Hazrat's curiosity. But the arrogant ruminant creature with a four-chamber stomach consisting of rumen, reticulum, omasum, and abomasums, ran and collided into Hazrat's knee. Hazrat stood in pain but did not say a word. The goat at this point, ran again and locked its horns in Hazrat's other knee but Hazrat stood his ground and made no sound. Tears of pain fell on the Goat's head. The goat wept all night and in the morning left its beard and ran away to the desert.
Hazrat set off for Mount Damavand early morning and travelled for two days and five nights. He reached the great spectacle of nature and after hours of hiking threw the Great African black Penguin's foot and Genuine Rare Billy Goat's beard in the fiery chasm of Mount Damavand and returned to the Holy Kingdom the same day. The official statement of Sheikh Ahmed Al-Fahad Al-Ahmed Al-Sabah announced Khizrous officially cured.

The next day Bondrous also came back to the holy kingdom with a black foot in his right hand and a beard in the other.