Travels of Hazrat Bond: Part I

Hazrat Goes To The Desert
The current emanation of constipation in the formative years' civilization has put to test the medical examination of global meditation. We therefore, have the responsibility to form a new renovation within the civilization of this disturbed nation. The passage follows' shows clearly an evolution:
"A man born in the East-West North South West Frontier Province, in the small town of 'Qustuntunia' (a place deserted by the Mongols later resulted in formation of the Ottoman Empire). His face was embalmed with pure gold and silver and glowed like light as white as the moon itself. It is pertinent to mention the tattoo on his right shoulder, which glowed and made signs of astrological unifications. He was thus God's miracle in every possible formation. His first words gathered the public and people and his voice echoed all over, from the mountains of Himalayas to Savanna's of South Africa. He opened his mouth and said those words "I am Bond, Hazrat Bond" He was suddenly bestowed a camel of Egypt and a cow of Lebanon by his highness Sheikh Ahmed Al-Fahad Al-Ahmed Al-Sabah.
He started growing and when he was 18-years-old he wrote a letter to the highly respected, his holy highness Sheikh Ahmed Al-Fahad Al-Ahmed Al-Sabah
"Dearest Sheikh,
It is to inform you that I Bond, Hazrat Bond has eaten his camel and cow, as they were very old and now need an elephant and a camel to set my course towards mankind's darkest misery i.e. constipation.

Love
Bond, Hazrat Bond
The Shiekh set out his bishops and the queen also accompanied the bishops to find the finest elephant in the land. They returned after one year with a white elephant. The elephant while standing arrogantly infront of Hazrat Bond said, "If you are Bond, the real Hazrat Bond show me a sign". Bond calmly removed his shirt and revealed the astrological tattoo. The elephant kneeled on his trunk and lifted his four feet and asked for forgiveness. Bond kissed the trunk and placed a tattoo on the elephant's forehead. A camel also accompanied Bond as he started his quest to end the darkest period in man's history.
Ever since then, we haven't heard of him………